Relationships can be Difficult and Challenging at times. They can also be The Best Thing Ever! Do you Agree?
Throughout Life we are constantly Evolving and Growing and Learning through Experiences and External Influences to Develop Love and Balance. It is our Purpose to Grow and keep Developing towards our Mission or Purpose. Without Evolving or Evolution we simply die.
We are brought up to believe or have a perception of what a relationship ‘Looks Like’ or how it ‘Should be’ with ourselves and how Intimate Relationships are from our parents, grand-parents, teachers, other people, even Walt Disney and the kids movies we used to bloody watch has influenced us on our Perception.
So as we grow older and develop ‘Intimate Relationships’ we have this perception of what we believe to ‘Be True’ and how it ‘Should Be’. Welcome to External Influences and Dictations, whether they are good or bad. To try understand Yourself and Your Relationships a little bit better I have put this blog together.
First, we have a Relationship with Ourselves.
We transform our Energy into 3 parts of Ourselves; our persona, personality and our true self. This is developed also by External Influences on what we believe to ‘Be True’ and how it ‘Should be’.
Persona – How we want the world, work or social media to view us
Personality – How we think our friends and family see us as
True Self – Your motherfucking true self when no body is watching or when your Kicking Goals and you do not have a care in the world, but freedom!
Let me tell you something for Nothing.. If these three parts of ourselves are too far apart from our trueth, then we have a little thing called ‘BI-POLAR’. In order to keep this up we have to create extra energy to be something we’re not, and it can be very stressful and tiring and unbalanced.
Many of us have the perception we need to be happy ALL THE TIME. That in itself is completely ridiculous, and from that we try and create these highs, to be given more lows, which causes us feelings that are unbalanced. Just be You.
Some of us have such a ‘Fantasy Perception’ of how things ‘Should Be’ and don’t listen to ourselves of what we really want in our relationships. This is when we create all these ‘Control Issues’ and ‘OCD Disorders’ to feel like we are always in control because Fuck letting anyone See How Out of Control You Are!! Ha ha! Some of us act SO Cruisy and always have a Big Smile on our face even when it looks like its been painted on and everyone else around the room feels your Bullshit because ‘We Should Be Happy ALL THE TIME’..
REALITY, it’s called ‘Balance’, there is an equal Positive to a Negative.
There needs to be equal healthy amount of Support and Challenge in any kind of Relationship for Growth, and without it the relationship fails or becomes unbalanced. An Intimate relationship and a relationship with yourself needs to grow on love, not fear, otherwise it won’t last, or you will keep sabotaging it. Learn to Love Thyself.
Once we have learnt to Love ourselves and have a good relationship with our true self, of who we are, we can then have a Real Relationship with a Partner. Once we learn self-worth and self-respect and completely trust ourselves we can then learn to trust others and have relationships with other people, even an Intimate Partner.
We naturally have an animalistic reaction or gut instinct about us, it is Human Nature. We have an in built judgement radar that lets us know when we are in trouble, and a judgement radar of when to make decisions or choices based on our gut instinct or animalistic reaction. If we have had trauma or negative experiences, which HELLO, Everyone Has, Even if it feels You are the Only One in the World with your Heart Broken before, be very assured.. You are Not the only one. EXPERIENCES are apart of Learning and Developing Yourself for resilience and learning your own self love and worth. If your still hurting and you have our guard up, it is trying to teach you your self worth. Release the past story for a learning and for a better future. (To overcome the Learning with Appreciation you need a moment of Enlightenment, which I can help assist you with to assist any past Trauma’s or Experiences, my number is at the bottom).
Once we Learn to Trust and Love Ourselves, we have Self-Respect again, we make Good Decisions or choices. AND Let me tell you something else for nothing, ‘Judgement from External Influences’ are ‘Judgements from External Influences’. It is that simple. There Judgement, of Their Perception. It really is as simple as that. It means absolutely NOTHING to You and Why? Because It Is Not Your Story! Your Judgement is all that matters in Your Relationship with Yourself, or Your Relationship with Your Partner. In a relationship you both need to be working together on solutions and the future, or it doesn’t work. External Influences are the fastest way to accelerate a break up!
Depending on where you are at with your Maturity of Self Growth and Your Relationship with Yourself, is how much you let other influences affect you. Remember; Happiness is not a race from others, or destination completed, it is the Journey that provides you the Happiness. Make your Journey the Best Fucking Journey to Your Destination, Your Way!! Do things your way because you will be a hell of lot happier.
Understanding ‘Intimate Relationships’ with Your Energy.
This is the Energy of ‘’Masculine’’ and ‘‘Feminine’’. Our Quantum physics states, as a ‘Physical Form Identity’ we are all very different, but at the Core of ‘’Our Energic States’’ are all Unified. These Two Energies are what cause a Physical Attraction and it is Energy, that is the Force that Creates the Initial Spark.
DID YOU KNOW.. We ALL Have Masculine and Feminine Energy! We are not just one type all the time, we shift. It depends on our states and our environment. These energies transition or alternate from time to time but you will feel more natural being more of one more of the time. How amazing is that? As we are becoming more aware of that, so is equal rights.
Understanding YOU and that these Energies alternate, to Balance, you will attract the opposite to maintain Balance and Grow Love for Yourself. The Force between these two are like a magnetic field til they connect. But a loss of polarity leads to a loss of passion, lust and intimacy in a relationship.
The problem is sometimes a person retreats and lives an energy that is unnatural to them. For example, a feminine feeling the masculine energy to compensate or masculine feeling feminine more often than should. Overtime, this can cause a breakdown of self-worth and meaning to the Life of the Relationship. To try and understand how if works a little bit better I have put down these energies below and the basic requirements to feeling fulfilled in your energy so it can be a little more clearer.
Feminine Energy in a Relationship SEEKS Love and Security.
A Feminine Energy reacts to praise and wants to be Owned and Cherished. They feel Connection through problems and are caring, calm and cooling.
They feel they need a Masculine Energy to show and action ‘Protections with Love’, to feel Safe and Secure, and Provided for. Safe and Secure by knowing that the Masculine Energy has their back no matter what the situation it is. The Queen come’s first.
Feminine Energy needs to feel Protected and Provided for not just in a Financial sense, but also Intimacy. When the Masculine Energy provides the above, the Feminine show’s Love by giving Unconditional Love, Affection and Intimacy. A Pregnant Female does need to know her partner can support her when its time for a Family, and she needs to feel Secure that she will be Protected and Provided for.
Hint: A Feminine Energy shuts down or tightens when stressed or feeling unsafe or insecure as they value complete Intimacy and Trust. Masculine Energy is Logical and Feminine Energy is Emotional. If the Feminine Energy does not feel the above, the Intimate Relationship does not Connect and left for too long without a solution or compromise it fails. This is usually the time when a Feminine Energy will let go of the Intimate Relationship.
Masculine Energy in a Relationship SEEKS Respect and Appreciation.
The Masculine energy needs to Receive Love in order to Feel Love, if a Feminine Energy consistently notices what a Masculine doesn’t do, they’ll do less. They respond to praise also, they are warm and heated and connect through Solutions. If a Feminine Energy gives positive words of Affirmation for providing, they will keep providing.
A King Masculine likes to feel they Rule their Castle by eliminating problems and makes big things small. Masculine Energy is the future and Provides the Safety and Security for their Queen and their Castle. Masculine Energy cannot relax until everything is done and ticked off their list.
They like a Challenge, but not challenged to the point where they feel they can’t win, they want to feel they can win the battle. Masculine Energy needs to feel Freedom and likes to let go from feeling trapped. Masculine Energy is decisive, makes the decisions and when they are feeling indecisive, they will pull away to think of solution.
Hint: Masculine Energy retreats from the world when stressed as they value power, competency, effectiveness and achievement. Feminine Energy cannot tell a Masculine how to figure it out, they need to figure it out for themselves. The Feminine Energy can guide a Masculine but if the Masculine Energy does not feel the above and feel accomplished the Partnership does not Connect and left for too long without a solution or compromise it fails. This is usually the time when a Masculine Energy will let go of the Intimate Relationship.
Arguments are a form of Communication between Energies
Trying to understand what, and when you flow between which energy, can help you understand yourself, and your relationship better. Each person will be transform as Energy is never lost only Transferred or Transformed. The Purpose of Life is to Grow and Know Thyself.
Remember your Partner wants to bring out the best in You. There needs to be equal challenge and support in a relationship because if one side is living too much of a fantasy or delusion to what the relationship actually is, it is Very Unbalanced. See Your Partner as whole and loving, or if not connect with people that are more like minded.
STAY TRUE to Your Self-Worth and stay true to Your Commitments. Commitments to Yourself are the Most Valuable Commitments You Will Ever Make. The Greatest Gift You Will Ever Give Yourself is Structure and Fulfilment in YOUR LIFE. Live Your Values, Purpose and Mission. Love is Balance.
If you need more guidance on finding Your Relationship with Yourself or Understanding Intimate Relationships, please feel free to book an appointment online with Chantelle or call on 08 8941 0810.